Our recent newsletter had an article about Fun and Intimacy. It’s gotten me thinking. For so many years we focused our relationship work primarily on all the hard stuff: Frustrations, Conflict, Deep Process, Relationship Visioning, Learning how to Communicate about Feelings, Needs, Sex, Childhood History…
Now, don’t get me wrong, all those things are very very important. As couples and people growing in life together, we must understand ourselves and we have to learn to be relationally skillful. We must be able to reveal ourselves at deep levels and we must be able to repair conflict with out re-wounding each other.  These are important parts of building intimacy.
But recently, I’m into brain science and how we are hardwired for love, empathy, fun and pleasure. We literally have the capacity built into our brains to connect with each other at very deep levels. And this connection, it turns out, is vital for our immune systems, our longevity and our sense of well being.
So I’m thinking a lot about Fun and Intimacy these days.

I remember asking an older married couple what their secret was. They had had such a good life. Here is what they told me. Read More→