Inch by Inch….the Journey of Relationship
ByFalling in love is easy. It happens almost by accident. Building long-term love is no accident. For most of us it takes a whole lot of intentionality and the care that goes into building anything of lasting beauty. When someone undertakes a great journey, climbing Mt. Everest for example, there is a heck of a lot of forethought, preparation and training that goes into it. Just imagine the list you would come up with when considering what you’d need in order to create a mountain of love with your partner. You’d have to consider what would make them feel loved. If you don’t know, you’d have to ask(imagine that!). Then you would go about the task of becoming that person, yes, making attempts to change your good self for the purpose of becoming a better lover. Is this really so different than conquering Everest?
Remember that folks don’t succeed at that great task by themselves. They have guides to show them the best route. Probably a Sherpa or 2 to help lighten their load. They’ve invested in the best equipment they could afford and taken precautions for times when they might become weak, disoriented or feel like giving up. Even though they have prepared for the journey and read every book on how to survive it, success is not guaranteed. The effort and the experience is priceless though and learning a ton about oneself is guaranteed. Our good intentions and optimism, while very helpful, must be mixed in with a sizable helping of education and endless scoops of courage to face our own fears, limiting beliefs and vulnerabilities galore. Not to mention, a lighthearted sweetness to make the journey fun (excuse the mixing up of metaphors, but I dare you not to smile with this!)
Care to share with us 1 way you see your partner working to build long-term love? Hint: Send it on to them afterward.
5 Comments
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Great advice to remind people that a relationship is an ongoing ‘process’.
One thing that my wife and I do is ‘have a date’ EVERY Friday night. We’ve been married nearly 6 years and have not missed one! It’s a priority that emphasizes its importance , it’s a commitment to each other, and it’s FUN!
May 2nd, 2009 at 7:44 PM
Many people don’t realize that a REGULAR “date night” of quality connection is like making a large deposit in your Relationship Bank Account every week. Sometimes we all need to make a “withdrawal” if times get tough. This is the real Prevention, an ounce of which is a fantastic investment in your Love Account !
May 10th, 2009 at 8:26 AM
Creating a great marriage is the most long-term, life changing, challenging and satisfying experience I have ever undertaken. And, its not something we had to do alone. There’s loads of help out there.
May 13th, 2009 at 3:54 AM
JOEL:
Guides through life, hmmmm, no matter what the journey or the landscape, the journey continues to show
up just when we have gotten through the the last mountain pass or wave of emotion. When things seem
to max us out and words just can’t do anything for us, we spend time in silence with touching.
This connects in a way that the outside world and words cannot reach. You taught us that!
We love you for it!
May 13th, 2009 at 5:30 AM
Well, you’re welcome. But you know, as well as I, that we’ve taught a whole mess of folks(you’ve helped!) and how difficult it sometimes is to keep doing one thing you know works-even in the tough times. You “guys” do that and thus are indeed the example everyone can look at and say, “Well, they’ve done it…so can we.” Thank you for that!