Comments on: Life as Foreplay: Creating Intimacy in Relationship http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/ Supporting Aliveness and Growth in Intimate Relationships Mon, 24 May 2010 22:51:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: joelfeldman http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-189 joelfeldman Mon, 24 May 2010 22:51:04 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-189 I love this Shela! Have to check out your book-sounds terrific. Thanks!! I love this Shela! Have to check out your book-sounds terrific. Thanks!!

]]> By: Shela Dean http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-188 Shela Dean Mon, 24 May 2010 20:49:39 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-188 This is an old post that I just now stumbled upon. Years ago I said to my husband when I was trying to "cure" him of being chronically late, "Honey, you need to know something about being in a relationship. Foreplay is all day, every day 24/7. It involves everything you do that affects how I feel about you. So, here's an idea for you. Why don't you try racking up Frequent Foreplay Miles by being on time." We laughed but he got it. The idea stuck. It became the philosophy of our marriage to earn as many and lose as few Frequent Foreplay Miles as possible. Then it became a strategy for helping other couples have greater emotional intimacy and is the basis for my book, Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy. It's amazing what a little lightheartedness can do for a couple. Humor . . . it's the language of intimacy. This is an old post that I just now stumbled upon. Years ago I said to my husband when I was trying to “cure” him of being chronically late, “Honey, you need to know something about being in a relationship. Foreplay is all day, every day 24/7. It involves everything you do that affects how I feel about you. So, here’s an idea for you. Why don’t you try racking up Frequent Foreplay Miles by being on time.” We laughed but he got it. The idea stuck. It became the philosophy of our marriage to earn as many and lose as few Frequent Foreplay Miles as possible. Then it became a strategy for helping other couples have greater emotional intimacy and is the basis for my book, Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy. It’s amazing what a little lightheartedness can do for a couple. Humor . . . it’s the language of intimacy.

]]> By: Kate Feldman http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-52 Kate Feldman Mon, 01 Jun 2009 03:22:57 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-52 This is a great awareness. It's true that we can get support and unburdening in many places and from many relationships, not just our beloved. Thanks Emily! This is a great awareness. It’s true that we can get support and unburdening in many places and from many relationships, not just our beloved. Thanks Emily!

]]> By: Emily Landry http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-51 Emily Landry Sun, 31 May 2009 15:30:34 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-51 The satement alone Life is Foreplay for your Intimate Relationship, has made me rethink my actions.Work frustrations and daily frustrations don't need to be saved and shared only with my partner. Of course sharing and processing life with your intimate partner is essential, focusing on the positive up beat things is now my intent,rather than the bad things. The satement alone Life is Foreplay for your Intimate Relationship, has made me rethink my actions.Work frustrations and daily frustrations don’t need to be saved and shared only with my partner. Of course sharing and processing life with your intimate partner is essential, focusing on the positive up beat things is now my intent,rather than the bad things.

]]> By: Kate Feldman http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-41 Kate Feldman Wed, 20 May 2009 14:04:26 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-41 It really is true that a couple who never "fights" or debates, as you say, usually has "stuff" that's been pushed under the rug. As human beings in relationship we, of course, have differences. We wouldn't have been attracted to each other if we didn't. It's the spice of life, our differences. At the beginning, in the romantic state, they show up as complementary. Later, they become the things that irritate us about each other. Joel is creative and expansive in his thinking; I am more linear and practical. Now, after many debates, "fights" and dialogues about our distinct styles, we have learned once again to be grateful for the complementarity. But it's taken awhile. If we had gone silent, or repressed the natural conflict, we would have cut off a lot of spice, passion, learning and yes... probably even good sex. Getting passionate about life, our opinions, and our perspectives is also foreplay. Even if sometimes we have to work through conflict on the way. Thanks for your comments! It really is true that a couple who never “fights” or debates, as you say, usually has “stuff” that’s been pushed under the rug. As human beings in relationship we, of course, have differences. We wouldn’t have been attracted to each other if we didn’t. It’s the spice of life, our differences. At the beginning, in the romantic state, they show up as complementary. Later, they become the things that irritate us about each other. Joel is creative and expansive in his thinking; I am more linear and practical. Now, after many debates, “fights” and dialogues about our distinct styles, we have learned once again to be grateful for the complementarity. But it’s taken awhile. If we had gone silent, or repressed the natural conflict, we would have cut off a lot of spice, passion, learning and yes… probably even good sex. Getting passionate about life, our opinions, and our perspectives is also foreplay. Even if sometimes we have to work through conflict on the way.

Thanks for your comments!

]]> By: Virginia Wright http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-40 Virginia Wright Mon, 18 May 2009 04:05:20 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-40 I heard something in church recently about "If you're a married couple and you don't argue, you have problems." I told Jack "We've got a really healthy relationship then!" However, the word we use is 'debate'. It's a friendlier term and there is no right or wrong - just different. (I don't feel like I'm going into battle either.) During the debate, we learn more about each other and I think that makes for a better relationship as well. There IS a lot of compromise, sometimes tears, but usually a whole bunch of laughing. We've been married 33 years, and there's still so much to learn. I heard something in church recently about “If you’re a married couple and you don’t argue, you have problems.” I told Jack “We’ve got a really healthy relationship then!” However, the word we use is ‘debate’. It’s a friendlier term and there is no right or wrong – just different. (I don’t feel like I’m going into battle either.) During the debate, we learn more about each other and I think that makes for a better relationship as well. There IS a lot of compromise, sometimes tears, but usually a whole bunch of laughing. We’ve been married 33 years, and there’s still so much to learn.

]]> By: kathi Minsky http://deepeningyourlove.com/life-as-foreplay-creating-intimacy-in-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-39 kathi Minsky Sun, 17 May 2009 14:46:30 +0000 http://deepeningyourlove.com/?p=312#comment-39 WELL...AS USUAL, YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. Thanks for the reminder. Kathi WELL…AS USUAL, YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.
Thanks for the reminder.
Kathi

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