Deepening Your Love

Supporting Aliveness and Growth in Intimate Relationships

The Miracle of Personal Development by Jim Rohn

Posted By on January 20, 2010

I came across this in my in-box today, and it touched me so deeply that I wanted to share it with all of my friends. Gotta love Jim Rohn! What I believe is that it is also true of relationships, in fact you could just substitute the word “relationship” for either “job” or “income” and it would  fit perfectly. I’m interested in your thoughts about this…..what’s your experience?

One day my mentor Mr. Shoaff said, “Jim, if you want to be wealthy and happy, learn this lesson well: Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” Since that time I’ve been working on my own personal development. And I must admit that this has been the most challenging assignment of all. This business of personal development lasts a lifetime.

You see, what you become is far more important than what you get. The important question to ask on the job is not, “What am I getting?” Instead, you should ask, “What am I becoming?” Getting and becoming are like Siamese twins: What you become directly influences what you get. Think of it this way: Most of what you have today you have attracted by becoming the person you are today.

I’ve also found that income rarely exceeds personal development. Sometimes income takes a lucky jump, but unless you learn to handle the responsibilities that come with it, it will usually shrink back to the amount you can handle. If someone hands you a million dollars, you’d better hurry up and become a millionaire. A very rich man once said, “If you took all the money in the world and divided it equally among everybody, it would soon be back in the same pockets it was before.”

It is hard to keep that which has not been obtained through personal development.

So here’s the great axiom of life:  To have more than you’ve got, become more than you are. This is where you should focus most of your attention. Otherwise, you just might have to contend with the axiom of not changing, which is:  Unless you change how you are, you’ll always have what you’ve got.


4 Responses to “The Miracle of Personal Development by Jim Rohn”

  1. Meg Burdett says:

    Conflating self-reflection and personal growth in any way with income (even to make a point about personal transformation) makes me very queasy. To say that “income rarely exceeds personal development” seems tragically out of touch with the truth of our global economic system where access to wealth is woefully skewed. Given this reasoning, am I to believe that Lloyd Blankfein and his posse are able to keep what they’ve “obtained” because they are more “developed” than the millions without homes, jobs or savings? I’m thinking of three of Ghandi’s Seven Social Sins when I consider what actually fuels the accrual and retention of wealth as alluded to here: Politics without principles; Wealth without work; and, Commerce without morality. Rather than speaking about happiness and wealth, Mr. Rohn might more fully explore happiness as wealth.

  2. Kate Feldman says:

    I was thinking that if all the out-of-integrity-business people of the world actually took this advice, the wealth would spread around more evenly. In my mind, personal growth implies deepened awareness of others, and the realities of human suffering. The message here for me is: If I focus on who I want to BE in the world, rather than on what I want to HAVE, I will end up having enough AND being the person I want to be. The corollary for me would be that becoming who I authentically am, includes the moral and spiritual imperative of sharing what I have. I believe personal development naturally results in integrity and compassion.

  3. Jeannine says:

    So true – the metaphor is as apt for relationships as for business. “What am I becoming?” Who can I become… for you… for us? Learn to work harder on yourself than you do… on your partner. To have more than we’ve got… in any category… we must become more than we currently are. All fabulous statements.

    As a divorce coach I wish people would make THEIR growth leap IN their relationships rather than convincing themselves that the partner is the problem. It just isn’t true. It’s just that it takes longer than they ever imagined and so give up.

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